As a mom and a grandmother, I am numb, angry, frustrated, and heartbroken.

I consider myself to be a woman of faith, hope and optimism, but honestly today I am struggling to find that space. Today I am a woman who has been knocked to the ground, a woman who is feeling despair. I don’t always feel happy and hopeful.  Some days I feel dark and hopeless and just plain sad, angry and scared.  Today is one of those days as I am sure it is for most of us, no matter what side of the fence you sit on.  It is a dark day.

I’m scared, numb and pissed off because there was another mass shooting yesterday targeting young and helpless children. Innocent children who did nothing but skip to school with their lunch boxes and inside shoes excited to see their friends and happy to be able to swing on the monkey bars at recess laughing and carefree like children should be. So today, I am lost in the horror of yesterday, I’m done and don’t know what to do, so I’m putting my fingers to the keyboard and am going to try to put my feelings into words, because I am at a loss.  These are my words and my opinions and I hope that you can respect them as I would do yours.

Once again, we have tragically proven that we are failing as a society, we are failing each other. It seems like every time something like this happens, nations immediately divide themselves and go into their own separate corners or camps but I am begging you to not go into your corner, this is the time to try to find some middle ground. These little people, the other victims and their families deserve that effort. Don’t let this senseless act divide the nation farther. My family and I don’t agree on everything, we may vote differently, we have different beliefs and we disagree on many things but I know that we all feel the same way today.  Our love for our children and grandchildren, for these strangers children and grandchildren is our middle ground today.  

As a nation, we all should be asking ourselves what we truly value.  What can we do to try to repair the problem? We have to reassess our values and find a common ground above these senseless realities that have tragically become our innocent children’s issues. I am not prepared to make excuses and accept these tragic events as the status quo just because it wasn’t in my back yard. I am here to say, the next time (and the harsh reality is that there WILL be a next time), it may just be in my back yard, in my grandkids school or in my community.

Whichever side of the fence we may stand on, we all must know we can do better. And to those who dropped off their loved ones yesterday not knowing it was the last goodbye you would have, no words I can say can show you all of my heart or heal your loss, but if my prayers can provide you any comfort, then I will gladly shower you with them until you have some peace.