I’ve been MIA the past 3 weeks because I have been dealing with a very painful relapse of my MS, but thanks to some heavy duty steroids and some much needed rest and relaxation, I am slowly recovering, and it seems fitting that I am back at it today. So today, in honor of World MS day I am writing a letter to my old pal.

Dear Multiple Sclerosis,

Today is World MS day and instead of telling you how horrible you are and talking about what you have taken from me, I would like to thank you (and I may add a little screw you to the mix), but for starters, I sincerely want to thank you.

Thank you for forcing me to step back and look at my life to identify the things that are truly important. Thank you for making me an expert on myself.  I now know what works best for me on any given day and I have the ability to tweak things when I need to.  Thank you for allowing me to really appreciate how wonderful my family and friends are. I want to thank you for giving me some wisdom to help and support others who are battling chronic illnesses. Thank you for leading me on a spiritual and self-awareness journey that has allowed me to find a sense of peace in spite of the things you throw at me on a daily basis. Thank you for motivating me to become stronger physically and mentally than I have ever been. Thank you for allowing me to look at the world in wonder again and to want to explore as much of it as I possibly can, while I can. Thank you for making me realize that life is short and I should go get that haircut, travel, spend the day with the grandkids, take a walk on the beach, go play that round of golf, and other things that I’ve been afraid or too tired to do but in the grand scheme of things I should have been doing all along.

Thank you for giving me more material to make fun of. Just because I’m sick doesn’t mean I can’t laugh and show others that you can punch fear in the face if you greet it with some humor and if you can laugh at yourself.  And, this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the path I am destined to be on, but thank you for my amazing husband, children, close family and friends who make me laugh and who holds me up when you wield your painful and annoying sword my way. Their enormous love gets me through when you try to take me down! They give me courage to fight the battle when I can’t find the courage on my own and I am forever grateful.

Thank you for reawakening the desire to blog about my journey in the hopes of helping other people as well as to help myself. Thank you for showing me how strong and resilient I really am despite everything you do to me, I know I am strong enough to find my way through the nastiness you try to put into my days.  So, if you don’t mind, I hope to never give you full power over me, but if that happens, just know that I will fight you with every ounce of my energy and be warned that I have a huge team of family and friends who will be right alongside me if need be, to fight you. I refuse to be bullied by you.  And I’m not going to tell you to go pick on someone else, because I wouldn’t wish that on others, but feel free to take a long hike while I live my life, thank you very much. I have a lot of stuff to do and I don’t have time for you. If you absolutely need me, you can find me playing squirt guns with the kiddo’s in the back yard!

Lovingly,

Raegan